How President Grinch Shut Down Christmas

Since ordering the government shut down before Christmas, denying Christmas pay for government employees the Grinch Reptonald has been busy. This government shut down is considered his most heartless of a move as president since unapologetically separating families and locking helpless children in cages. While there have been government shutdowns and incarcerated immigrant children in the past, the level of callousness and heartlessness Reptonald likes to deliver to his fan base has been unprecedented even for American politics.

On the last work day before Christmas Eve, Reptonald made the government shut down official after discussions about the Great Steel Wall of Mexico went south. Like his “good people on both sides” comment on white supremacists, the president has once again played “the heel” by shutting the government down before Christmas. Many of his opponents don’t realize that playing the bad guy is not only a ploy for more attention from both sides, but also bolsters his Reptilian base to make him appear “tough.”

In the weeks following the midterm election, Reptonald made a flurry of brash headline grabbing announcements of questionable judgment. Many have pointed to the government shut down may have been influenced by “Fox and Friends”, but there are a few factors to examine. While it would be unprecedented if a private broadcast network had that much pull over an active president, it’s not hard to bait Reptonald. For starters, 2019 will most likely kick off the start of a 2-year long election coverage cycle, which he’s eager to show off for. Knowing Reptonald that will mean more reasons to take “bold action” regardless of how misguided, ineffective or uninformed the action was.

Reptonald’s other “bold action” shocked and horrified almost all of Washington with his announcement of “pulling out of Syria and Afghanistan”… via twitter. It’s unprecedented that a president has ever used twitter for serious government announcement as he has, but some analysts point out that the “one way” discourse is a faster, simpler way for him to make decisions public without the decency of bothering to council with professionals. He’s since walked back the 30 day pullout to a safer 120 day timeline.

In many ways, Reptonald is an anti-government politician, masquerading as a Republican, which considering his previous contributions to Democrats his “Republican” status doesn’t have firm legs to stand on. Reptonald has previously tapped into the anti-government sentiment that was organically behind Sanders and used that anti-government sentiment to wedge a divide between the Democrats as well as pull in disenfranchised voters.

Reptonald’s announcement of the Afghanistan & Syria withdrawal and government shutdown in many ways can be tied to his business background. In many ways all of his actions can be seen as quarterly benchmarks, meaningless ‘action’ for the sake of satisfying his base and regardless of how ineffective or misguided the action may be can be used as “proof of action” or talking points to prove efficacy and progress no matter how meaningless.

The decision to pull out of Syria and Afghanistan is potentially disastrous for progress, stability and the safety of all our allies already there but can be used as a talking point of “getting stuff done” and his “mission accomplished” moment for the America First crowd. In addition to the government shut down he’s also managed to claim ‘victory’ over the border defense with Chuck Schumer, regardless of how damaging and ineffective his actions may be they will be spun as ‘definitive action’ or ‘getting ‘er done.’ Pence was notably silent during the talks, pushing twitter to meme him as an “Elf on the Shelf.”

The government shutdown is still in effect two weeks after it’s announcement before Christmas. The Grinch Reptonald is using the shutdown as “hardball” in order to get his “metaphorical” wall built, as well as prove to his supporters he’s a “man” of principal willing to fight off his political opponents. This is all fantasy of course, all he’s really been able to do is ensure government employees have an unpaid Christmas and public parks to turn into trash dumps.

While government employees are struggling to pay their rent, Reptonald is sliding back on his announcement of the “pull out.” Like most loudmouth idiots, the president is being forced to deal with the ramifications of his impulsive last minute decision over twitter, like Roseanne has. After calling Syria “sand and death” and extending the pullout Reptonald is once again pulling the political move of “bold action” making headlines followed up by quietly walking back his policy and claims once experts point out how stupid they are… well, besides the wall.




Freelance writer for "The Startup", “Data Driven Investor” and

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David Baer

David Baer

Freelance writer for "The Startup", “Data Driven Investor” and

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